The Definition of Woman and How to Love Them
Man Law defines a woman as: "Start with a man but take away reason and accountability and you get a woman". This no doubt will bring grins to many men who read this and it will contain an appearance of truth.
But is Man Law's definition of a woman correct, and just because it may appear as truth, is it?
To be sure, it is common for a woman to accuse a man to justify things she does, even if she has to make an accusation using something the man said or did 20 years ago. Now before you suggest Turk is sexist, a few housekeeping matters are in order.
Men and woman are different. Not just our bodies but even by substance. I mean God only went to the dust once, right? OK, [if there are any ladies lurking here], God only went to the ground once, right?
The way in which God created man and woman were distinctly different. God knows we are different, and both men and women hold different values to certain abstract things. To name a few, love, respect, etc.
But going back to definitions. God says many things about women, one of which describes a wife as a help meet for her husband. So why does your wife seem like she is anything but a help meet for you? Why is she quick to bring up things from the last century? Let me suggest that the answer to that question lies in how you are treating her.
Many men will say 'hey, I put in my 40" or "I love her" but she's all about 'what have you done for me lately', and keeps adding to the dreadful 'to do list'. Certainly a marriage for disaster. So what can be done and how do you fix it?
Fixing a marriage is one of the simplist things that can be done. There are many goofy books out there that have no truth in them and give false hope, but there is one that gives the answers to having an abundant marriage.
One needs to look no further than the Word of God. Figure, if God created woman then he must know what a husband can do to 'fix' one that seems to be falling under the Man Law definition. The recipe goes something like this:
1. Start with prayer and allow God to move in your heart to open up your eyes and ears. The man MUST open his eyes and ears and receive instruction from God's Word. If the husband does not come under such instruction, then the husband can be sure to get his reward, not necessarily a wife that respects him [unless the woman is Godly].
2. Turning to God's Word
One of many passages dealing with marriage is found in Ephesians. Starting in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 25. It puts out a command to the husbands,
"Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it."
[Not surprisingly, it's instruction to woman is to respect her husband, but that's not the scope of this devotion.]
The above is wisdom and for the benefit of the man. Read it closely and you will see that it isn't good enough to just love your wife. Your wife is built in such a way that she needs not only your love but for you to love her in a certain type of way. Which way does it say? "As Christ also loved the Church".
Therein lies wisdom. How did Christ love the Church? Christ came in the form of a servant, and served, putting the Church first. A sacrificial type of love. Many verses on this but you'd do great if you start with Phillipians Chapter 2 to unpack this.
Have you loved your wife with a servant's type of sacrificial love? Do you put her first? Or do you love her so that she is only second best? [Didn't any of you watch the movie 6th Sense?] I can guarantee you one thing, she will feel second best if you are loving her the wrong way and violating the command of God. If she isn't a Godly woman then IMO she isnt built to be only second best, chances are she'll go bonkers [sorry ladies, man talk].
Are you preoccupied with your job while she is talking to you? Are sports ahead of her? Are you ahead of her? Please don't tell me that your cell phone isn't off when you and her spend time together. Chances are whatever it is that you're thinking about as she's talking about her day...that thing is ahead of her. Could be your job, kids, hobbies, whatever.
Don't try to justify yourself by saying I put in long hours at work and provide for my family. Nothing is wrong with providing for the family but the question is if you are loving her as Christ loved the Church. Your accountability in your marriage rest in you following this command.
You see, it isn't so much that a wife loses reason and accountability as Man Law sez, but rather, husbands aren't accountable first. God made your wife a certain way and I don't think he built her to be a happy camper if she's only second best. She's not built that way!
Ironically, imo, only when a man loves his wife in a sacrificial way does he really know what it is to have a wife as his 'help meet'. He will have a friend, a more abundant marriage in every way, and by serving, he will become King in his house! Voila! Turk's recipe for marriage.
Oh, and btw, like all things, it requires work, sometimes overtime, and never take her for granted.
Anyways, I just thought of marriage stuff since it was valentine's day the other day so I thought to rattle off some things here. The above is not proofread so I hope it made sense and spoke to someone's heart. FWIW: I am speaking to myself in this devotion and all my devotions on this site.
Turk Out